I’ve got to be honest with you mommas, this has been a tough week. I am not sure if it is pre-period hormones kicking in or that we’ve been a bit more housebound this week but I am feeling the funk. Feeling like who I was before is just gone and I am only a shell of the person that I was before becoming a wife and a momma. Whatever parts of me may have remained after getting married have just been blended up and strained right out in these past couple of years of being a momma. 

We recently celebrated Allie turning 2. We had a birthday party for her in our backyard that was full of all the toddler favorites…

This week has been crazy. 

Poop on Aisle 5

Several years ago my sister went through a really hard season in her family and one that went on for a handful of years. When everything first started I was given the nudging to tell her that I loved her, just because. It was my way of saying that I loved her because she was my sister and for no other reason. I didn’t love her because of what she brought to the table, what she didn’t do, what she may do, or what she has done. I love her because she was my sister and nothing would change that. 

No post this week. I have a horrible double ear infection and have been days without sleep. Post will return next week when I can walk straight and hear. 

The cutest thing happened a couple of weeks ago. When all of us were snuggling in bed and saying our prayers, I asked Allie if there was anything that she wanted to thank Jesus for. And to our surprise after a few minutes of her being quiet she said the name of her best friend. Then proceeded to say thank you for her best friend’s younger sibling, her Auntie, Uncle, all the dogs, her blankie, and the list goes on and on. 

Here we are again. It’s 2:45am (yes it is literally 2:45 in the morning and I am writing) and Allie is up. Not sure why she is up. Maybe it is because a cold front has come through, maybe it’s because she didn’t eat enough dinner, or maybe it’s because she had to go potty and wanted to use the potty. I’m not really sure why Allie is up but I feel like it is all my fault. 

Since my panic attack about a month ago and catching the Flu a couple of weeks ago, I have been moving at a much slower pace. Initially it was done purely from the panic attack and realizing just how much I was trying to cram into every moment of every day. Which was stretching me way too much. But then when we all caught the Flu I saw how much Allie loved me being still. 

I had a little revelation last week in a course that I am doing at our church. A revelation that reminded me that I get to be a part of this course at my church. That I get to spend intentional time with the Lord each week to understand the Word and how God inspired it to be understood. I get to spend time being the Lord’s vessel and share a message based on what I have read each week. I get to do this!

This past week I turned another year older. I am now 34 and this was the first birthday where I didn’t become offended or upset when someone missed my birthday. 

Have you ever noticed the increase of pressure and static in your mind around the holidays? For me before Allie, it all revolved around my weight. And the judgement that I feared would come at me once again gaining back weight that I had lost. Now with having Allie, I still have that static playing around in my head but it is often overshadowed by the louder static, screaming that I am not doing enough.