Let's Lay It Down

Have you ever noticed the increase of pressure and static in your mind around the holidays? For me before Allie, it all revolved around my weight. And the judgement that I feared would come at me once again gaining back weight that I had lost. Now with having Allie, I still have that static playing around in my head but it is often overshadowed by the louder static, screaming that I am not doing enough. 

I am not making Christmas special enough. 

I am not making enough memories. 

I am not taking enough photos. 

I am not bringing the Christmas spirit enough. 

And the list could honestly go on and on. It hit me about mid-December while another friend was having a moment where the static was getting loud and had crossed over into panic, that these picture perfect moments aren’t being asked for or requested by Allie, my hubby, or the Lord. These requests and shoulder crushing pressure is being put on by society and it telling me how my momma journey should look like during the holidays. This is only my second season being a momma through the holidays and I’m already sick of it. 

I’m sick of feeling like I am failing and that I don’t deserve rest because the tree isn’t perfect, the wreath only is lit up on one side, the cookies aren’t baked, and that no matter how much I try there isn’t enough time in the day for me to get it all done. I have the pressure to create this story book, picture perfect Christmas for Allie. But really what matters is the time that is spent together, not these stressed filled moments striving to create perfect memories. I mean really, what are some of your favorite moments from Christmas as a kid?

Was it the perfect Christmas tree or the year that your mom lost an acrylic nail in the lemon bars, that was never found?

Was it all the gifts under the tree or that the water pipe bursting and creating a volcano of water shooting up into the sky?

Was it the beautiful, sparkly, crinoline lined dress or the running around in the yard playing catch and freeze tag with your siblings and cousins?

For me, it 100% was the memories made during the less than perfect moments of the holidays. I remember even as a kid, feeling the pressure to have and behave perfectly during the holidays. Yes, there was joy, but it was in those moments of imperfection where we relaxed and we’re just ourselves. 

The Lord isn’t calling us to perfection, it is in our imperfections that He draws all the nearer to us, as it says in the book, Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund. Why am I and why are you allowing the pressures of this world to rob us of the joy that has been given to us at such a price. Sisters and mommas in Christ, it is time that we let these societal built expectations go and lay pressure and stress at the feet of Jesus. And let the Lord’s love, joy, and peace fill those areas within our hearts and minds. A momma that is filled with love, joy, and peace is the best momma that any of our babies could ever ask for anyway.