We Get To

I had a little revelation last week in a course that I am doing at our church. A revelation that reminded me that I get to be a part of this course at my church. That I get to spend intentional time with the Lord each week to understand the Word and how God inspired it to be understood. I get to spend time being the Lord’s vessel and share a message based on what I have read each week. I get to do this!

Before this revelation I have been struggle bussin each week and the dread that I felt before the semester started was hanging around. Last semester I was a ball of nerves because I didn’t know what I didn’t know. But this semester I know how much this course is going to require of me and the spiritual warfare our family will experience as I am drawing closer to the Lord. 

Knowing both of these made it feel like I had to do this. I had lost the joy in reading the Word. It was just another item I needed to complete off my checklist. I lost the joy in spending that kind of time with the Lord. And I was getting stressed and annoyed that my messages weren’t coming together easily or even flowing well. I just felt so defeated. 

Then a couple Sundays ago, I was getting some alone time with God and was preparing for the class my hubby and I teach to the kiddos on Thursday night. I was just in my prayer journal, no formal layout like I had been doing for class. I started off with talking to God, laying out the areas that I needed His grace and forgiveness for, and then asking for His wisdom in His Word. 

The most amazing thing happened. I really enjoyed getting to have that time with God. I was geeking out over scripture and the new understanding. To the point that I woke up my hubby with a 103 fever to share my geeking out with because I just couldn’t contain myself.

When I got back to the kitchen table after geeking out with my hubby, I asked the Lord why don’t I have this joy when I am preparing for class? Why does that feel like such a chore? Why would you make me do this? And the Lord so loving reminded me that I didn’t have to do it. I have been given the opportunity to do this course. It is a get to not a have to.

A revelation that has brought the joy back. I can’t wait to get up early and open my journal and Bible to have some quality time with the Lord. The kind of quality time I used to experience when I was single and have been asking the Lord to bring back for years. I now see that He has done just that.  And this revelation didn’t just stop at the course I am doing at church. But has touched all areas of my life and renewed my joy. 

I get to be a momma. I didn’t have to be a momma. It is a blessing the Lord has given me to be able to spend this time with Allie. It is a blessing that I got to carry her in my womb and am able to be a stay at home momma. It is not something that I have to do but I get to do. 

I don’t know what is going on in your worlds and your mommahood journey but I had to share. We get to do this journey. And we get the opportunity to do it well through the Lord’s strength and provision. We don’t have to do it and we most certainly don’t have to do it alone. 

Mommas we get to do this! How amazing is that?!?!?!