Where Is The Space?

Where is the space for one to talk about something being hard. Not in a complaining, woe is me, kind of way. But the reality of a season just being hard and needing to process that out? Why does it feel like so often when talking about a hard season it is met with a reminder of all the blessings. Acknowledging a season is hard doesn’t mean that one is not seeing the blessings within the season. Every season is mixed with so much beauty and hardships. 

Speaking about the hardships doesn’t negate the beauty. But it feels like the hardships shouldn’t be spoken about when the response from so many is the beauty of the season. For me it feels like the struggles and really freaking hard parts should be ignored and that just doesn’t work for me. Trying to ignore the challenges or the difficulties in a season only seems to make it grow larger and become all consuming. As an external processor being able to talk about what I am struggling with really helps me. 

For example, just today I finally broke down to my hubby about the struggles I am having in our current season. With us honoring the call for me to stay home with our daughter it has put us in a financial deficit each month. The Lord has brought an amazing part-time job to my hubby that gives him great flexibility and great pay. The Lord has also brought customers to the handyman business we launched earlier this year. It has been amazing to see the Lord providing ways for us to fill in the gaps of our finances. This also means that now my hubby is working one full-time job and two part-time jobs. This week he worked two nights until almost 9 and then was gone for most of the morning Saturday. I’ve been trying so hard to focus on the blessings and not give any attention to how much I missed my hubby this week and how much it stinks to have him out of the house for so long. Then today driving home, I started to cry, a cry that I couldn’t stop. I haven’t wanted to share with my hubby the way I had been feeling because I didn’t want to make him feel bad or come across ungrateful at all the doors the Lord has opened for us, but I really missed him this week. 

This is a hard season we are in, though we are beyond grateful for the way the Lord is making it work so I can continue to stay home with Allie. It doesn’t make this season automatically easier. There is comfort, joy, and peace in seeing God’s hand over this season. And we trust that God will get us through this season and will use each struggle we face for His glory and our good. But I have to be honest about the struggles. Acknowledge them, pray about them, surrender them, and then let 'em go and trust God knows exactly what He is doing. For me part of that process is being vulnerable and transparent about the struggle. I don’t need to be reminded of the good in this season or given a solution on how to fix it. I just need to feel heard, seen, and probably a good hug. 

If you also feel like you are bottling up all the hardships in your current season because you don’t want to come across as ungrateful or missing the beauty in the season, I would ask you to pray.  Talk to God about the struggles you’re facing in any season.God already knows what is in your heart, so you can be honest and transparent with Him. Ask Him to reveal to you a person you can go to and request to be listened to. Please don’t let the pressure to act like everything is great prevent you from dealing with the hardships of any season you are in. Having hardships doesn’t mean there aren't blessings, it means that you are human. It’s okay to have hard seasons and to struggle, we all do, whether we share them or not.