I will never forget the first scratch that Allie got. It was a small scratch, maybe a quarter of an inch long that went across the center of her forehead. I was trying to wipe milk or a crumb from my snack off her head and in the process my nail scratched her. I instantly began to panic. We had a visit to the pediatrician the next day and my mind was racing with thoughts of the pediatrician seeing Allie’s forehead and then looking at me with their finger raised, chastising me for what an awful mother I was. And asking me questions like…
“How could you have “accidentally” scratched your daughter’s head? It was on purpose wasn’t it? Are you even fit to be a mom? She has been in your care for all of 24 hours and already you have put a mark on her? CPS should just be called on you now, shouldn’t it?”
Of course none of these things happened when I saw the pediatrician, though I shared immediately how I accidentally scratched her head the night before and have since trimmed my nails. I don’t exactly remember how the pediatrician responded but I do remember it wasn’t a big deal. And you would think that would give me a sense of relief for any other bumps, scratches, and bruises that Allie would get in her life… but no!
Just last week we had a playdate at a local splashpad and my baby girl fell and ate it big time. Her water shoes were slightly too small, though she’s only had them for like 6 weeks, and this caused her balance to be off. So when she took off running back to the splash pad after a snack break, her head went much faster than her legs and she fell. All limbs sprawled out on the sidewalk, which of course caused scratched knees and even some scratches on the inside of her arms. Allie of course was fine after some cuddles with me, but my heart fell right into my stomach because in two days we had a wellness visit with her pediatrician. Once again these thoughts of having my child taken away because she had some scrapes and bruises began to race through my mind. Then to make matters worse, later that night she got bit by a mosquito on the tip of her nose. This caused her nose to blister and swell up, as all mosquito bites do if I don’t spray them with lavender immediately. However, I didn’t know when she had gotten the bite so no spray was given and her poor nose looked bad. These bites never bother Allie, thankfully, but they look awful. And though I prayed for the bite and scratches to be healed within a 36-48 hour window, they of course did not. So with a tight chest and the logical mind of my hubby reassuring me everything would be fine, we went for Allie’s wellness visit.
The first thing the pediatrician said when he came into the room was, “Oh I see we have some bug bites and scrapes. I am happy to see that Allie is getting outside and exploring the world around her. That is so great, mom.” I didn’t cry immediately when these words were shared but I did shed a couple of tears once we got in the car. All of my anxiety melted away hearing those few short sentences. Because even though I know logically that Allie is going to get hurt as she is entering the climbing, running, and active exploration stage of her life, hearing the pediatrician say that he was happy to see the evidence of this exploration brought me such peace. Hearing those words gave me the truth to fight the lies that run rampant in my head when Allie gets hurt. And as she is entering her climbing and running era, she is going to get her fair share of bumps and bruises. Now I could try to prevent those injuries from ever happening…
Though my options for that are putting her within a bubble or completely covering her in bubble wrap. Both options seem extremely far fetched and filled with frustration on all of our parts. So I will breathe a sigh of relief when future accidents happen, knowing that trained medical professionals know the difference between abuse and the evidence of a child playing. And I hope you will as well, because we’ve got enough stress trying to keep these little ones alive.
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