Nothing's Too Small

As my daughter's first birthday was approaching I, like many moms, began to plan her birthday celebration! And the many plans I had for her birthday theme and style quickly went out the window due to our tight financial situation due to us honoring the call for me to stay home full time. So I prayed, and I know that sounds silly to pray about how to decorate for a birthday party, but there isn’t anything that I don’t reach out to the Lord for in prayer. My Mimi used to tell me how she would pray for the Lord’s assistance in the big things and the small things like trying to get the clasp on her bracelet connected. She would say there isn’t anything Jesus doesn’t want to hear from us about. So I talk(pray) to Him all day long. It’s an ongoing conversation and a constant request for Jesus to be a part of my day. As well as a reminder to be intentional to do the Lord’s will and not my own. As I’ve said before all I know is that I know very little, though that wasn’t always the case. When I was younger my catch phrase very much was “I know!”

And after many face plants in humility and connecting deeply to Proverbs 3:5-6…

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

I now know that as long as God is leading my path I don’t need to worry about knowing or understanding everything. I know that God has me in the palm of His hands and His will is to bring about all things for His glory and my good. Becoming a momma has made me feel like my catch phrase should go back to I know! I want to know everything and feel like I should if I’m gonna be raising a whole person. Shouldn’t I be able to give her all the answers to all her questions? Shouldn’t I be able to anticipate each new season and be prepared for whatever she may need? I’m learning that I don’t have to be and I can’t be the one to provide all the answers. I need to show and teach Allie humility in not knowing everything and that it’s okay to not have all the answers. I need to show her that through all seasons of life the one person she can always cling to and turn to for any and everything is Jesus. That I as her momma will always be there for her but I am human and I will fail her at times. But Jesus, He never will. That in the smallest requests, like a birthday theme, to the bigger requests, like buying a home, Jesus is right there with her and wants to be a part of each step of her beautiful journey.  And His plans are so much better than I or we could ever imagine. 

God can even transform the moments in this life where we do not have a choice as to what is happening to us and we can’t control the situation we are in. These moments can leave some very painful scars emotionally and physically. As Allie grows I will share with her how God has taken some of these moments and some of the uglier times that I have gone through and turned them into a place of beautiful light when I let go and trusted Him. I hope that I can teach her that the places where hurt breaks you, can be transformed into the places where God’s loving light enters your heart and also allows that light to shine out to others. And that is so healing and beautiful.